Running toward a drunk

It's always a little scary to find yourself jogging toward someone sketchy. Of course, most of the time it's just a group of noisy teenagers or a harmless old man.

But when it's a very loud, obviously angry, drunk man at 6:30 a.m. (yes, in the morning) then it's particularly worrisome because there's a high probability some PCP might have been thrown in the mix.

On the plus side, it really tests your speed to try and beat the stumbling man to the intersection so you can bolt left toward home. You stop thinking, "Running fast is stupid," and start thinking "I hope this angry, drunk man isn't armed."

Getting old

My dog Fife is old. I'm guessing he's somewhere between 75 and 180, but that's just a rough estimate.

Getting old totally blows, according my observations of this old, fat beagle. He's on pain medication. He sleeps all the time. He can't walk around the block without getting pretty winded.

Add to this his recent propensity to start barking very loudly, and randomly, at 2 o'clock in the morning. Out of nowhere, it sounds like he's warning the family about the clan of serial killers outside our windows. It's a pretty horrible way to be woken from a vivid dream about the real morning jog I have scheduled just a mere four hours away.

We've decided these night terror barks are from failing eyesight. He wakes up and it's dark outside. He sees a shadow. Bark. Bark. Bark... Not only is he old and sick and dealing with his failing eyesight, now the whole family hates him.

That's just a clear-cut case of insult to injury if you ask me.